"Mum, you have got to sort Ben out, he's out of control". This was following the 2 of them fighting. "Excuse me?" "He's bone idle and his rooms a tip" (Language cleaned up!)
"Which one of you smokes?" "Me"
"Which one of you drinks?" "Me"
"Which one of you did I have to have a serious sex ed chat with?" "Er, me"
"And which one of you has seen the inside of a police house more times than I'd like?" "Er, that would be me too."
"Okay. And Ben is the one that's out of control?" "Yes!"
He (as in the Higher He, not He Joseph) surely knows how to test me!