Sunday, January 23, 2011

Social Services, School, Sleep, Sadness

Anyone else ever have a report made to social services about them? Because only then could you possibly understand how I'm feeling. 3 days now of hardly any sleep and working on auto-pilot. Ella is clumsy, it's a fact, everyone knows that. We never hid the fact she fell down the stairs. Wrote it in her diary in case she complained of aches and pains. No, we didn't take her to the hospital. For one reason if we did we would be there every week (and no doubt they would have contacted SS) but also because I've been a Mum for 20 years, I know when they're injured or ill - I just know, and all Mums will think "yeah, I'm like that too." And the other reason was because Ella made up a story "I went to the pub with Daddy's friend Harry and drunk beer, got drunk and was sick." I think this is beyond me more than the fall. Ella makes up stories, her language is limited so you uses what she does know to create some amazing stories. Ella's been at that school 6 plus years, so they know that too.

Would it have hurt the school to phone us first? I could have told them a) Jeff and I don't go to the pub b) Jeff has no friends called Harry and c) they know us, do they really think we're the sort of parents that would allow our disabled child to go to the pub and get drunk! Even if they felt a duty - and they didn't, I've checked the legalites (of course I would, you know me!) - they could have kept a note and if they had 2 or 3 concerns then fair enough.

As a childcare person I absolutely appreciate 'The safety of the child is paramount', but come on, a bit of common sense should be allowed.

Jeff spoke to the school when they rang, I refused. They even had the audacity to say it might be a good thing!!!! Really? On what planet? Oh, cos it might help with respite. Crap. I've been a Mum 20 years, and even through all the ADHD, Ella's early years (when it wouldn't have been a surprise to have been reported; one of my neighbours admitted if she hadn't have know Ella's needs, the screaming would have pushed her to make a report; and she was a never ending bruise and injury making machine), and the boys teenage years we never had a blot on us. But now, if anyone asks we have to say "yes, we have". Do you have any idea how heart-breaking that is? No, probably not. Did you know, even if 'no action required' is decided, that report remains? And what about fostering? I don't know yet, almost don't want to ask.

Onto social services. I have to say the woman I spoke to was very nice. And not only that, it was the same woman that had interviewed me and Jeff only 3 days earlier, and had met Ella, about respite. I think that is probably the only positive about the whole thing. She hopefully had gone away with positive vibes about us. We had a long, interesting, chat, and I learnt a few things about the school I'm really not happy with. Will deal with that if/when this is past. She told us not to worry. Of course I am. Hence the not sleeping.

And what about Ella? She doesn't understand what she did wrong. She's made up stories before and no doubt she'll do it again. Only this morning we were playing on Frontierville on facebook together. One of the children is her LOL She tells me what to do, what to plant etc. Loves it. Only her icon had disappeared into the woods and I said "I can't do that at the moment, I've lost you." Then I panic. What if she says that to school? Do I have to walk on eggshells forever with everything I say and do from now on?

So sad :(

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Love to hear from you. Please leave your thoughts below. Suzanne xx