Thursday, April 11, 2013

J is for

Jacob - oops no, that's what I wanted to call Benjamin, but Jeff wouldn't have it :( He had no problem with the name, just the number of J's! He also wouldn't let me call him Reuben, which I think is a fab name :)
Jokes - love a good joke, think it's something 'we', as in the collective population, do well
Joss sticks - love the smell of some of them, takes me back to The Cannon days - although pretty sure those smells weren't from joss sticks ;)
Joy - Joshua and I were chatting about friends the other day. He was saying he doesn't have many - but I pointed out to him (a) he's only 20 and (b) most of my friends I have met since school. I have a few facebook friends from school, and that's nice, but I'm not the person I was at school, and thank f*** for that! Crying, miserable, whiny, I was not a school person. I feel I have changed completely, started when I got the part-time job at the Little Chef, then The Cannon, then the hospital. And finally the nurseries. These roles helped me grow into what, I hope, is a pretty okay person. And through that growth I met people I consider true friends. Friends that I will visit at 11 at night after a frantic phone call. Will sit up all night with. Will hold their kids hands in hospital. Will hold their hands in hospital. Simple put, if it's in my power I would do anything for them. And Joy is the longest friend of them all. I explained to Joshua friendship doesn't mean seeing them all the time. Life gets in the way and it could be months in-between get togethers, but then you just pick up where you left off. We met at Heatherwood, so she goes as far back as Kezzy! And is one of the few people to attend both my weddings. She was my bridesmaid with Paul, and now she is Ella's God-Mother. I can't imagine her not in my life, which has nearly happened on several occasions. Once when we were crossing the roundabout outside the hospital and I didn't see the car coming. She did, but when she went to scream no sound came out - well that's her story and she's sticking to it! Thankfully the cars brakes were effective. As an aside, at 5 I fell out of the back of my dads car at the roundabout - have been knocked off my bike on it - had my first car prang there. Hmmm, my Achilles Heel I think. She also saved my life. Not an exaggeration. Five years ago when the shop was imploding I could see no way out. You know, or maybe you don't, when honestly you feel life would be better if you weren't in it? I was right there. I've had minor bouts over the years - with the cr*p we get delivered think I'm entitled - like when Ben was born, 3 under 3.5, 2 buseinsses to run, and Jeff gets sent to Germany to work for a month. Then Lynn was the Godsend. And just the end of last year -again, what a flaming year! But eventually I come out of it. But on that one day I honestly couldn't see anyway out. I sat in the front room with a bottle of, well, I can't even remember, and a pack of tablets, sobbing. And then Joy rang. Out of the blue. It was the middle of the afternoon so she must have been at work. And we chatted for a long time. I didn't tell her what I was contemplating. But when we hung up I had decided to give life another go. I have never been that low before or since. But I thank God for my BFF. And Joy, if you're reading this, love ya! And I'm not even drunk xx


  1. I know whole families that all have the same initials. I can't imagine having to put my full name on something rather than my initials. :)

    Konstanz Silverbow
    A-to-Z April Blogging Challenge Co-host

    1. Hi, thanks for visiting :) We made sure they all have different middle names, and they all use them!x

  2. I am Julie. My brothers are Jeff, Jim, John and Joe. My only sister is Sue.

    She has had a complex her WHOLE life about not being a J. I named my son Samuel so she wouldn't feel less alone.

    Oh, the things we do!

    Your story ends on such a poignant note. I am glad you chose to give life another go. Those dark moments can be completely menacing. I know.

    Glad I found you today on UBC... thought I am doing AtoZ as well!

    1. Hi Julie, thanks for visiting. I believe J is supposed to be one of the most common initials - and the names are so nice :) I must admit I had never thought that Ben might have not liked to be different from the others, possibly if I'd been a J as well he might have not been happy! x

  3. My mom did the J thing too, but with our middle names =) My sister's middle is Jean, my brother James, and mine is Jayne!

    It's great to have a best friend to help you when no one else can!

    Lizzy, another A to Z blogger =)

    1. Hi, thanks for visiting - names with J definitely seem popular :)

      And, yes, best friends are heaven sent!



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