Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Insecure Writer's Support Group August

Insecurities are clambering all the way to the surface at the moment. I entered the Write Club this year and 'nearly all submissions received at least one vote' so then of course I worry, am I the one that didn't get any at all? Is my writing that bad? Okay, so it was my first ever competition but still ........... I know I don't handle rejection well, it's a major flaw in my make-up, but it's been hanging around for 50 years so can't see me overcoming that any time soon. Despite the fact that I once owned a really successful business I have a very low self-confidence, which I think feeds into the rejection thing.

But, one of my strengths is the ability to fall down and get back up again. And if you're a regular reader you'll know that life sure does like to knock me down *rolls eyes*  I believe this is the expression I've used on more than one occasion ......
Image from  Spiritually Thinking here
So I'm sitting on my brother's terrace enjoying the French sunshine and finishing my second novella in the Legacy series, even though I've only sold less than ten copies of the first and have had 2 rejections. Onwards and upwards :) ETA The last post is a short clip from the first novella, and I had my first comment on it from a non-family/friend ..... made my day :)

Now, seeing as I'm still non-weight bearing stuck sitting I'm going to see how many more of  the ISWG blogs I can hit - I could be gone a while LOL

54 comments:

  1. Suzanne, I know how easily self esteem and confidence can be knocked. I've had my far share. But I love your quote, sometimes the knocks make us stronger and more determined. Keep going the small ups, like a nice review or comment, can be all the strength we need to get back up and try again. Take care and enjoy France.

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    1. Thanks Suzanne, the amount of knocks I've had I should be Teflon plated by now LOL x

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  2. Suzanne, I understand how you feel. Rejection sucks but writing is so subjective! I bet if you did a little marketing your work could find an audience that would totally love it. Have you tried some beta readers? Goodreads has some good groups. Good luck! And looking forward to that post on self-promotion:)

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    1. Thanks Quanie, once I've completed 2 and 3 (as they're novellas not as daunting as it sounds!) I will have to seriously look at marketing. Thanks for the Goodreads suggestion too :) x

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  3. We all know how you feel Suzanne. We've all been there for sure at one point or another. Where are you basking in French sunshine? Wish I was there with you!! Thanks for visiting my blog! I, too, am off to visit other blogs!

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    1. Hi Lisa, thanks for visiting, I'm in south-west France, it is beautiful, and as it's in the country, it's very relaxing :) x

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  4. You have an awfully sweet spirit, Suzanne. It shines through this blog from every 'pore.'

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    1. Hi Suze, thank you so much for saying that, made my heart warm :) xx

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  5. Another one that I get a lot is "You never get what you want in life, you get what you need." I sometimes wonder if that's just a lameass proverb excuse for dealing me the sub par life cards...

    Just thought I'd visit as I noticed you posted on another blog at the same time as me :) What are the chances of that?

    I'm ok with rejections. It's the silence that gets me down. I don't have critique/beta readers which is the death knell for any writing, right?

    If you have someone who's passionately reading your stuff, who can't put it down and who is constantly rabid for more and is able to engage with you on the story, it means your writing is great, competition or not.

    Namaste.

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    1. Thank you for making me literally laugh out loud! And visiting my blog :)
      Namaste :)

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  6. Ooh, that's a nasty word...or maybe it's two..."competition" and "rejection". As my creator can vouch for, she's been there and done that. And received some not very nice letters back too! But...the morning still dawned, there was a new day...and lo and behold, I was conceived in her little imagination! And does life ever get any better than being a little Feeling Nosey? heh heh.

    Hang in there, Suzanne. You are NOT alone.

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    1. Thanks IB :) I am not alone? Does that mean you are also a Mulder and Scully fan ;) x

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  7. Well said. Common sense isn't common and life isn't easy. That's my opinion anyway.

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    1. Hi Jacqui - I can certainly agree that life isn't easy! Thanks for stopping by x

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    1. I hear you about the rejection thing, it's not easy especially when you don't know the why behind it. But we can't let that stop us. I like how you sound determined, hang onto that. Good luck with your series and keep going "Onwards and upwards." Oh, and I'm enjoying French sunshine today too. Santé! (:

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    2. Sante Elise :) I think you've hit the nail on the head, if I knew why it didn't make the top 32 that would help. Was the story poor, the grammar, too boring .......but I absolutely get why they can't let everyone know, would be beyond ridiculous for the organisers. x

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  9. When I entered my first contest, I was a very new writer. I knew I wasn't going to win. Luckily, a published author had warned me of that and encouraged me to enter for the feedback.

    Learning to write fiction is a process. If you go into it with that mindset, it saves you a lot of insecure moments. (Of course, we still have them - thus the need for the group. ;)

    Best of luck. Hope you get well soon. :)
    August co-host and IWSG #110

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    1. Hi Melissa, thanks for the get well wishes :) If I'm honest I had no idea if it was good enough or not, but rejection still sucks no matter what it's for, personal or professional! But, you're right, the more I write, the better I feel my craft is :)x

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  10. You know, just entering a contest is a huge step. I love to lurk and watch the excitement unfold, but it took me a long time to actually enter one. And no, I haven't made it into any final rounds, but that doesn't mean I won't stop trying. Contests are subjective and not getting chosen doesn't mean you aren't a fantastic writer. It simply means that the person that read your story may just not be into your genre, or may have just liked something else a little bit more!

    I love the quote :)

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    1. Thanks Meredith, that quote has resurfaced periodically to give me some support :) It was my first competition, and it hasn't put me right off, just veered me a little off the straight line to success LOL! x

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  11. I lost a contest once too. I'd entered a really good story, the best I'd ever written at the time, but I lost. Badly. I got eleven votes, the winner got a hundred and something. I later found out that the contest I'd entered had less to do with the quality of your writing and more to do with how many friends you could convince to go to the website and vote for your story.

    So don't be too hard on yourself about losing. Not all contest are about good writing, and even in the ones that are, good writing is a matter of taste, not an objective science.

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    1. Hi James :) That very thing happened to me in a crafting competition years ago, and I must admit it did suck, but it did teach me something - make more friends LOL! Thanks for visiting x

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  12. Oh, I'm the exact same way. I would worry that I wouldn't get a vote, even though everyone else did. But I'm sure you'll do better than you expect. Everything takes time to build and grow.

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    1. Thanks Cherie, glad I'm not the only one :) x

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  13. My entry for Write Club didn't make the top 32. And I was sure it would. It was so much better than my last year's entry.
    I think my reflex to rejection is to lash out rather than be hard on myself. But being aware of this has helped me to keep it under control.

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    1. Hi David, thanks for visiting! Sorry you didn't make it, hopefully we'll both get through next year and 'meet' each other in the final :) know how you feel though, I thought I had written a good short story, but like so many people have commented writing is so subjective x

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  14. I love that Mother Theresa quote. I have to keep reminding myself that my self-worth isn't conditional upon someone else's opinion.

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    1. Oh I love that Donna, I may have to borrow it if you don't mind - actually will be perfect for me for next months ISWG :) x

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  15. I think a person who doesn't feel the sting of rejection is in a different gene pool than us.

    I say rejoice in your successes. Sounds like you are on track for bigger things to come.

    btw, love your quote!!! And I so agree

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    1. Hi CD, thanks for visiting:) And for the vote of confidence, certainly helps the self-esteem :) x

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  16. Here's to a speedy recovery :)

    Love the quote.

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    1. Thanks Donna, I hope so, but the doctors reckon at least 9 months from the injury at the earliest! x

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  17. Sometimes the most successful writer is the one who doesn't give up no matter what. Keep on keeping on.
    Kathy @ Swagger Writers

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    1. Hi Kathy, despite all my failings, giving up isn't one of them, so maybe there's hope for me yet LOL :) x

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  18. What you lack in confidence you make up for in determination! Cool that you entered DL's Write Club. I'm nervous because he's trusted me with being one of the final judges.
    And really dig the quote.

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    1. Hi Alex, everyone seems to like the quote :) Determination? Not sure that's the word my husband would use to describe it LOL I'm sure you'll be a great judge, must be both nerve-wracking and exciting :) x

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  19. Non weight-bearing? Oh, dear. At least you are in France. I expected to enjoy France when I visited - I did not expect to love it as much as I did.

    It's odd how forty-five people can say "I really like this piece!" and one can say "This is utter dreck and should be burned in the town square", and the voice we hear again and again is the one nay-sayer. It's a wrench to focus on the good feedback - 'They're just saying it because they love me/ don't want to hurt my feelings/ don't want to bruise my psyche/ don't have any taste/ just want to lie to me. I decided I would pay at least as much attention to the good feedback as the bad. cheers - and get well soon!

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    1. Hi Diana, I do love this part of France, in the country and only a couple of hours drive to the Pyrennes :)
      You're so right, I so get that. In my real life I teach childcare, and no matter how much I praised a student's work, they would always remember the one "but you need to ....." ! x

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  20. I think that is so awesome that you entered the Write Club, I thought about it, but didn't think I'd be able to do it. :)

    I love your little expression, it's so cute!

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    1. Thanks Kimberly, maybe next year you will? I've got plenty of time to decide if I want my ego bruised again LOL And thanks, amazed that so many people like the quote :) x

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  21. Wonderful that you submitted to Write Club. I think people can change and grow later in life.

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    1. Hi Tonya, I hope you're right :) x

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  22. The best part is, we don't let these insecurities keep us down. Oh sure, they might trip us up every once in a while, but it's never a permanent thing.

    Keep on doing what you're doing!

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    1. Hi Mark, you're so right, it's always a temporary slump, just a bummer when you're in the middle of it! Two positive comments on my writing in the last post though and the ego has been temporarily healed :) x

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  23. Yeah. I still have a hard time with rejection because of a lack of confidence too. I'm waiting right now to see if I made the finals for a writing contest I entered. I've won this competition before, but I still don't know if what I submitted this time was good enough. I'm kind of a nervous wreck. And it will only get worse when I start querying this novel. Oy.

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    1. How exciting and terrifying in equal measures - will keep everything crossed for you :) I'm not even thinking about when I query the books as I can just imagine how stressful that is going to be! x

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  24. I never realized how many people struggled with some of the same self-confidence issues I did until I joined this group. It's great that you're going full speed ahead, and whatever happens you'll know that you were brave enough to get your books out there.

    Julie

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    1. Hi Julie, I think it's the same for artists of all types - writers, artists, crafters - the insecurities of worrying what people will think. I am better than I was 30 years ago professionally, but when it comes to something I created I still feel so vulnerable! And yet we shouldn't as whatever we create comes from our souls so we should be proud of our achievements. That was a bit heavy LOL! x

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  25. Never stop, just push forward and you will get to your goals.

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    1. Hi Brandon, thanks for stopping by, I really hope you're right - for all of us :) x

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  26. thats a perfect quote!
    we will make it. dont give up!
    and way to enter write club! good luck!

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    1. Hi Tara, I've gone back to that quote so many times over the years! Everything crossed that you're right :) x

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  27. Great quote. I live by that kind of inspiration. I think as writers we have to. :)

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Love to hear from you. Please leave your thoughts below. Suzanne xx