Sunday, July 21, 2013

Been AWOL in Hospital

Very hard few weeks.

Have started a page here to detail my Injury and Recovery. Enjoy.

Normal service to be resumed soon.

xx
Monday, July 08, 2013

Not Right for the Write Club

Oh well, this didn't get picked for Write Club 2013, so might as well share my short story :)


'She sensed it. For all her fighting against it with every breath of her being, it had apparently been futile. It had crept up on her silently, one-minute unsuspecting, in the next, sudden realisation that it was there, under her skin. And she knew her life was now changed completely. Forever.
She had been fighting against it for as long as she could remember. If she concentrated really hard she was able to recall when her life was simple, before everything changed. It was so long ago though, and she was so young, the memories that flashed in her head were broken. Clips of films that had no beginnings and no ends, but moments of pure delight. Splashing in the waves on the beach. Sitting on the swing laughing while her Mum pushed her. Running alongside her brothers and sisters in the garden with their Dad chasing them. She could feel the warmth of  love that had surrounded her. She had known a happy life. A perfect life.
Sometimes she wondered if it would be so much easier if she didn’t have those images, so that she could just give up her body and soul and accept the change. Mostly she thought it was a good thing that she could remember a world before the change. Her younger brothers and sisters though didn’t have any defences. The interloper had taken over their vulnerable little bodies quickly, their fragile defences not being able to ward off the attack that had crept upon them so stealthily. Her Mum had been weak and unable to fight the battle taking place inside her, confining her to her bed and ravaging her. There was no more splashing at the beach, playing on the swings and going on outings as a family. Instead there had been quiet voices, hospital trips and a lot of tears shed when the grown-ups thought she wasn’t listening. And then her Mum died. On bad days she blamed her Mum for the start of the world collapsing around her. Deep down she knew that wasn’t true or fair, that her thoughts were cruel, but those feelings made her feel angry. And she understood that the fury burning inside her helped keep the change away.
Her Mum dying was bad, but her father changing was worse. And then her siblings. She had tried to protect them, but they welcomed the change. Everyone said it made them feel better. The woman kept saying she would never try to replace her Mum, but she had seen her with the rest of her family and knew better. She had kept her defences up so well, refusing to allow this woman into her life. And then last night happened. The never-ending flowing tears because her first true love had jilted her. The woman just hugged her until she stopped fighting and fell asleep sobbing in her arms. When she woke up she sensed the change. Under her skin. And it was actually okay.'
Sunday, July 07, 2013

Squeezing an Annus Horribilis into a Week

Excuse the language but this week was c*ap with a Capital C.
Joe had a car accident and flipped and totalled his car.
Joshua had to have an ambulance out as his knee locked while in town and is waiting for an MRI.
I had to have an ambulance out as I fell off an 18" stage and had a suspected broken ankle. Imagine the irony of ending up in the A&E bed next to your son! Cannot walk and I am already going stir crazy.
So couldn't make a fair I was booked at so no income this week.
Couldn't help with a retirement party I was supposed to be co-organising.
Joe had major bust up with Dad and Sandra and nearly ended up homeless.
Ella had such a meltdown that she kicked me very hard in the boob area, causing it to bruise.

Usually I'm cup half full, but so not feeling it at the moment! Although I did have a lovely morning with Lydia and ordered the flowers for next year before everything unravelled.
Before pic of my part of the garage to sort out
Out with Orla:)
Flowers from our climbing rose in the garden
£90 pair of adidas shoes - think we shall be asking for a refund!
Joe's car - he was definitely being watched over!

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Insecure Writers Support Group July


So here's a bizarre, not so nice, coincidence. I had planned to write about how life gets in the way of writing. Looking for work, being a governor, and having kids all get in the way of finding time to write. Worrying about money because I'm still looking for work prevents me from zoning out and creating my story. So here I am at the keyboard thinking about how things get in the way when Jeff rings. "Don't panic, but Joe's flipped the car". Sorry? Don't panic? Seriously? And suddenly, instead of having the half hour put by to write my post I am a Mother worrying about her boy. BTW, he's 21, when do I stop worrying? Never? Thought so. Calls to him, my step-mum (remember he's living down there atm), Jeff and the half hour has fluttered by like all the other half hours I try to scurry away but always end up being clawed back because of other events. Oh, if you're wondering, the car is a complete write off, but at least he's okay and no-one else was involved :) Shame Jeff spend all Saturday afternoon under it changing his brakes - or maybe, it turned out to be a blessing and it could have been much worse if he hadn't.

I found I wrote more the last 2 summers in my brothers back garden in France than I do the remaining 11 months of the year. So this year I am hoping, sitting on my Dad's terrace in Italy will have the same effect and I can make up for an incredible amount of time that real life swallows up. Speaking of real life ....... laterz xxx