Monday, June 12, 2017

Annus Horribilis - Starting with Fostering

I swear each year I think next year will be easier. Being a positive person I think maybe next year. Maybe one year I'll stop thinking positively. But that's not this year.

Three areas of our life has been all encompassing this year - Fostering, Joshua and Ella.

 So the next few posts aren't fun and full of happy photographs. They're about how life sometimes sucks. So if you're not in the right place, come back in about a week :)

Fostering is rewarding.
Fostering is fulfulling.
Fostering is funny.
Fostering is frustrating.
Fostering is flaming hard work.

Fostering is rewarding when a kid who has lived off nugget and chips eats a whole bowl of home cooked stew and asks for more.

Fostering is fulfilling when a fosterling develops self-help skills, moves into independent living, and you know they will cope.

Fostering is funny. Like when you find that a teen fosterling is trying to grow a cannabis plant in his bedroom. Or they honestly think they can pull one over on you.

Fostering is frustrating when a childs parent speaks offensively about your delightful special needs daughter and you have to bite your tongue and remain professional.

Fostering is flaming hard work .........
..........when a fosterling makes an allegation against you. This year we have had to defend ourselves again and again against a teenager who seems bent on making life difficult for us. I'm rude (I'm really not!). We always have an excuse why we don't buy him things. We will buy him new uniform but he will save the old uniform and wear that so that school feels we're neglecting him. This culminated in SS doing an unannounced visit to do a clothing inventory. Personally 18 tees, 12 trousers, 6 pairs of shoes, 5 coats, etc. is plenty in my book.
.......... when a teen fosterling reports to a friends parents that we've gone to a wedding all day and locked him out of the house! Of course the parents then phone SS and report it (which, actually, is fair enough, I would to if I had heard that).When actually I'd sent him to the hairdressers while I went out for a couple of hours!
.......... when a fosterling accuses you of something so unacceptable that you seriously question whether fostering is right for you. To know that something has been said, and a week later you find out that the child has been interviewed by the police; the case has been referred to the Local Authority Designated Officer; and you've been the subject of a meeting. All of these things have been going on around you and you're oblivious. Then you get an unannounced visit and it all comes out. They discuss how we could protect ourselves in the future. But we already follow the best safe care, we communicate with SS re any concerns, and I tend to write a tome in the daily diaries. They had to admit we actually couldn't have done anything to protect ourselves further. We were lucky - truth was on our side, and it has been listed as a false statement. But there is always 'what if' ...............


  1. My friend Susan has done fostering too and encountered so many of the same issues. It's not easy at all. Both of you amaze me with your patience and ability to care for another person's child.

    1. Thanks Jo, it's not the easiest, but despite all the troubles, we really feel it's right for us x

  2. Heart rending for you! Makes you really wonder how these kids who make false reports were treated back in the past to make them so crass they can't appreciate having better than they had before.
    Visit me @ Life & Faith in Caneyhead. 😉

    1. I know Barbara, heart-breaking what some of these children have been through :( And we only get a glimpse, there's so much we never know x


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